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you don’t even like any of these people; however, they distract you from having to sift through the contents of what you are.
what are you?
who are you?
why are you here?
what are you doing with yourself?
how are you contributing?
i’ve decided that i enjoy cooking and it was a considerable lack of time that led me to believe i was not interested and bad at it.
you are only bad at the things you do not invest your time in. there is not enough time to do everything, so the question must be: what do you want to be good at?
what does it mean to be good?
i have always thought that to be good at something is to do it every day. to practice. to be patient. to cultivate a discipline toward it. this is not the case.
we are each born with a gift. and goodness has nothing to do with the gift you are given.
there is one choice in life: to acknowledge your gift or not.
my gift is writing and the work it will take to turn the stone into a statue will cost me all that i am. i do not want to do it. i do not want the work. it is not a matter of discipline; it is the task of devoting yourself to something so great, the rest dissolves.
if i slip away, who will take care of me?
who will i take care of?
will i be entirely alone?
is it so bad to be that lonely?
if I go out to the edge, will i feel for my way back?
And will it matter?
at that point, will I even care?
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