izzetinefis

i will define the things that i desire. what i want is aloft like the seeds spinning in the water - the ocean is full of fluff from the trees. a blond-haired woman said the wind changed and the water was full of garbage. it is not good for swimming, she said. she smiled as she said it. it was not meant to be negative.

i swam anyway.

i can be as many people as i want to be at any given time and this choice makes me delirious and sweaty when i realize the extent of its ability.

what i am right now does not need to be what is tomorrow.

my mindset informs my habits and i can change this as swiftly as i shed my pajamas and put on something to wear out of the home.

the yoga instructor wore a backless tank top and loose pants for today's class. she had a long braid and a loose bun and the oddness of her attire was alluring. she had no intention of demonstrating for the class. her earrings were round and dark and she strode around the room and touched several people to show them how to move into each shape. i was not one of them. she cued me with her voice, though she said my name wrong.

another thing i can change at leisure.

sera - phin - a.

writing is going to sharpen my mind. it is forcing me to contemplate my person in a way reiki and yoga and reflection do not. I have to choose the words to determine my existence. it moves from a feeling - an abstraction - to a considered concept. it moves from the ephemeral to the permanent entity.

perhaps this is why i love writing so much - it is fixed.

Photo source.