videnda
“It’s a real comfort zone for me to feel alien.”
The little alien inside of me is scared. I am scared of commitment. I am scared of making the wrong decision.
I am scared of putting my heart out on the ledge where it is subjected to the wind and the rain. I’ve placed it there for a wee taste of sunlight. The warmth makes the rupture worth it.
I’ve become someone different- not an object- but the subject of desire and it feels magnificent to have such power. Adoration feels like a jeweled necklace at the throat. The decadent prisoner.
Pascal used to say that everyone is a slave. Some of us are lucky enough to choose our form of slavery. Others are born into cycles they cannot flee from. We’re burning down and what is underground will release us from the terrors of what is above.
The higher-ups have more control and I see that control is linked to more than wealth and resources. It’s attached to hope. It’s linked to desire. Power is the opposite of hope, for it has a limit and hope does not.
I am hopeful and this is my downfall and also why I continue to rise up and surmount the fear that keeps humanity tethered to the repetitive cycles.
Enslavement is linear; there is no change.
The protests to remove the headscarf of Islam started in the 1970s. We are having the same fight present day. The Morality Police are condemning rioters and protesters to death. I say 'we' though I am not there. I am free to walk without a headdress and until I left Canada for good, I did not realize how powerful such a simple act could be.
To dress as one wishes can be a weapon. Seductress; I have been utterly unaware of my effect on others and my country.
I feel stupid much of the time, traveling alone. Abroad there is nothing to protect me but the silly extravagancies that I hold dear to me as a friend I can pack in my case.
What are my trinkets hiding? What does it mean to show your face? I need a mask to enter the matrix and for this reason, I trust nothing that I see. I don't want the feathers and fluff!
The tucan visited me this morning and whispered in my ear. Lean in, jump through the portal, stick your thumb out on the ledge to taste the wet and the warmth.
Photo source.
