filipendulous
“Fear . . . is forward. No one is afraid of yesterday.”
Departure is based on necessity— like most things in life. I am not equipped to stay any longer though I am not prepared to leave.
Isn’t this how most lovers exist, hanging by a thread between desire and demand?
I exist between a dozen little deaths by each day. I prepare to die with ritual. Setting things up and taking things down, day after day, my heart attunes to the present moment.
Attunement is the reception of another person. I attune to each city by steeping myself, lightly, into the culture. Art is the quickest way to the soul, whereas science is the surest way to assess the mind's meanderings.
All systems are flawed for the fact that they focus on prediction.
I’m so sick of anticipation! I cannot pretend to care any longer. As soon as someone opens a mouth full of expectations, assumptions, judgements, or demands, I energetically disengage.
Departure isn’t always a physical process. I flee the scene standing still much of the time. It’s how I survived Flagstaff.
I hid my heart in the desert sands and covered it with red earth. Discovery is for those who seek and put in the work. I do not want to be found by just anyone. You must ask the correct question to see what’s on the other end of the line.
We are each tethered to something or someone.
I am bound to my work. Writing. The art of abstraction. The process of revealing the unseen. Yoga is the practice of sifting through the subconscious to surface the emotional disquiet I’ve kept locked in a cellar.
Setting emotions aside as you navigate the web of the world we walk together is safer.
I’ve learned that humans do not share a reality.
We are each traversing independent corridors. New York makes the disparity obvious. I blush at my previous naïveté. Every time I say goodbye, I mourn the loss of the person I am in the city I took up residence.
Goodbye NYC. I enjoyed who I was here.
Photo source.
