alew
“I don’t want to have the terrible limitation of those who live merely from what can make sense. Not I: I want an invented truth.”
On Writing; A Process of Archaeology.
It is hard work sitting to create this morning. I feel connected to my breath and my body. I feel distracted in my mind. I am in a growth phase and I do not know what the outcome will be. I am outgrowing my mindset and need to shift.
The Unknown is disarming and I will lean into the Uncertainty.
The image to meditate on is an insect with wings. Something that flickers lightly in the air. Something small and somewhat irritating. Something flighty and drawn to the light.
It is me, up there hovering by the heat.
My upper back is sore from all the sitting yesterday. I wrote for six hours and the muscles between my shoulder blades ache.
May we be tender with how we interact with ourselves.
My reason for writing every day has changed. Initially, I willed myself to create. I'd write poems and short stories and decant the previous day's contents.
Today my reason for writing is to establish a sense of discipline in the rhythm I am shaping for myself. Where it will take me, I do not know.
I've asked my guides to step in and provide me with the words for the next story.
Clarice. Simone. Hilda. Sheba.
There is a fifth one coming; her name is Jasmine.
I am shaping characters so quickly that I cannot remember where they came from. This is another detail that does not matter.
What matters is these four truths:
Keep to a strict yoga/resistance training schedule. I need to stretch and strengthen to sit for long periods.
Go on shorter-distance runs. Six kilometers is the magic number. Otherwise, I'm fatigued and cannot connect to the creative flow.
Drink coffee with more milk than espresso to soothe digestion.
Allow a more fluid routine. Sometimes, I wake up and desire writing for work. On other mornings, I'm excited to shape a poem or story.
What works for me right now may not be what works in a week or a month. My attention will feed my desire, and the action will spring from this space!
I desire to create - to write stories and inspire all those I meet with hope through an emphasis on the truth. No hiding from the shadow. No skirting the disgusting details. The trauma is part of the experiences, and I will not turn away from the discomfort that arises when confronted by something I do not understand.
Growth pains - I am constantly uncomfortable, and I blame myself for not taking an acitve role in my health. It's partially a physical ailment, though more so metaphysical. I am floundering when what I want is to float.
We Float.
Take Life As It Comes.
Photo source.
