grace
March. The movement this month is a typhoon sweeping me sideways. My hair is tousled. My pants are dirty. My skin is dry, and my nails are cracking.
I’ve moved into my new (v.old) apartment in Istanbul.
I am sleeping on my mattress on the floor with a yak scarf and my little statue of Ganesha by the window. For the next two weeks, this will be my place of rest.
The customs are different, and the language is foreign. I’ve had to set up appliances (stove, fridge, and toilet), plus the usual amenities like curtains, electricity, internet, and cleaning.
The entire procedure has been a manageable strain. My nervous system can handle it. I’ve had a few hiccups that could have been avoided had I planned better and been more considerate. However, my intuition tells me that had I thoroughly examined the extent of the energetic, physical, and emotional cost of this adventure, I would not have done it.
One molecule said yes to the other molecule….
The other day, while ordering drapes for the bedroom, I had my first full conversation in Turkish. I beamed the entire way home: I felt so proud and pleased with myself, regardless of my terrible pronunciation.
I’ve been saying Evet (yes) incorrectly for over a year.
The things holding me together right now:
My mantra practice.
My reiki practice.
Poetry.
Voice memos with friends.
Vegan Snickers bars.
I started re-reading ‘When Things Fall Apart’ by Pema Chodron and put it down. The things I used to reach for when experiencing stress, grief, or chaos are not the things I want today.
I’ve changed, and so have my coping mechanisms.
I face challenges head-on without regard for the steps in front of me. I lean in and don’t wait for permission for what follows. I used to freeze when faced with adversity; now, I stand a little taller and maintain eye contact with the obstacles.
My two years of travel have taught me that you can connect to a person’s heart without speaking the same language. I’ve surmounted discomfort and diffused arguments by remaining responsive, calm, and kind.
I’ve booked my first Turkish language tutorial this week, and will continue to attend once a week until I can understand what is going on around me with out using Google Translate.
Grace is the ability to hold oneself with ease and assurance, compassion and consideration, despite the ruffles and ruptures.
om namo guru dev namo
I bow to the divine within.
Sera
Madame Butterfly
There’s a picture of me with
a small pot in one hand. The
other palm is held up, poised
for thunder. I am submissive
and feral, undone by the
imitation of integrity.
It was dark at the lake, so we
shucked layers like Trumpet
Lilies and floated in the stars.
Beauty is right beneath your
feet, he’d said. The camera
flashed, baring its teeth.
I am starving for his mouth and
sick of waiting. One may possess
the past, but never the present.
Many truths can be read at once.
I study my portrait and wonder: is
lying the best form of self-defense?
by Seraphina Dawn
This piece was rejected twice, though I love it and will not change a thing about it!
“A Writer’s Take On Writing:”
Ayn Rand -
"Remind yourself, explicitly, that writing is for your own pleasure.
Never mind your mistakes or who will say what about your work.
Remind yourself what you sought in writing, and what great pleasure there is in having your say about life, reality, or whatever subject you choose.
Currently-
Quote of the Week:
When we talk about a family, we’re talking about an energetic field, which has in its untransformed state an encumbered pattern or poison, as mentioned before; in its awakened state, this very same energy becomes wisdom.
Lama Tsultrim Allione
1 question to brew on:
What do you reach for when you’re feeling wrung out, anxious, or low?
