eyvallah
Portraits of a Dream
1.
I am in the kitchen. It smells like banana bread. I am watching a woman knead the dough for bread. I know her. She has short blond hair and likes to dress in loose garments. I watch her make cookies with four ingredients. Bananas, tahini, oats, and water. She rolls the cookies out onto a strip of parchment paper. This is how you do it, she says. She is speaking to the children. She does not know that I am there.
2.
I do not want to dance in front of everyone by myself. All the other participants have partners or groups. I am all alone. I take the stage. It is long, like a runway, that runs horizontally to the seats. I don’t have the choreography down. Did you practice? My sister whispers to me. I shake my head. Join me! I say to her. She shakes her head. I don’t have the steps in me as you do.
3.
I watch as all the children get on a train. They are leaving. The parents are with them. There is a restaurant in a dining car. The menu has green beans, roasted chicken, and sourdough bread. One woman does all the cooking. Everything is locally sourced and organic. The adults order coffee. There is whipped cream and pumpkin pie for dessert. I do not get on the train. I watch the families eat and wave goodbye.
Analysis of Each Dream
1.
Cooking is an alchemical process. The dough (wet, heavy, and sticky) is baked with fire to become light, complex, and palatable for the digestive tract. Each of the ingredients is symbolic of something:
Bananas - resilience, fertility, male
Tahini - spirit (ground) from the seeds
Oats - abundance, wisdom from nature, female
Water - healing, change, grief.
The four represent balance; the woman rolls and shapes the dough into balls. We must intervene, engage the world, and mix the ingredients. It is just the right amount of each and the correct temperature. It takes time, patience, and devotion to create a cookie. It is a simple practice with few ingredients, yet the taste will not be suitable if the process is done poorly.
2.
Horizontal lines represent the foundation: stability, practicality, and the beginning. I did not prepare for the show; I had no script to follow. I allow myself to be spontaneous. And I dance! I dance all alone; I dance anyway, without a partner. With so much hope and fervor, without a care in the world. I barely want someone to be with me, but I am not fearful or ashamed. The sensation is sadness: I am alone again when everyone else has a partner or a group. I ask my sister, and I know what her answer will be before she speaks.
3.
Food is a source of comfort and nourishment. The fields and local fowl feed the people. This dream is comfortable. However, the people are on the move. They are going somewhere, and the speaker is not. She is staying in one place while everyone else leaves. The setting is familiar; the train is long and large. There are swift changes ahead - the speaker senses it. She chooses to stay where she is alone, and all familiar people are returning to their homes. The speaker longs for continuity; she watches the diners and notes the foodstuffs and decor. She is an observer on the outside, on the other side of the window. Her feet are planted on the earth while the others are on wheels.
Photo source.
