who gets your glitter?
For the Feelers….
What do we do with big feelings?
This has been my preoccupation since… forever.
I’ve spent many hours reading, researching, and writing to get to the bottom of this deep well of emotion that exists inside of me.
Whenever I want to know something, I look to the outside first - what do other people say about it? How do they process? What are the stories and case studies that give us the facts (and facade) of why we act the way we do?
I’ve spent over a decade trying different techniques to help me process my feelings. Yoga, Butoh, Aikido, Kundalini, and Reiki are longstanding modalities in my toolbox that help me ground when the world starts spinning.
And spin it does!
Since I was small, I've had a heightened awareness of the unspoken agreements we enter with others.
Since I was small, I’ve had a hard time translating what goes on inside of me into words, which is why I’ve leaned so hard on writing and reading.
Since I was small, I've gotten tripped up in the contradiction I perceive in what people say and what people do.
As a writer, I love working with poetry, surrealism, and metaphor to fill the gap and bring clarity to my confusion.
Surrealism is the subconscious and strange; it is the dreamworld that attempts to balance the rationalization and logic of the conscious mind. I learned much of what I know about dream psychology from Marion Woodman - listen here.
Metaphor is the comparison of one thing to another; it is a tool used to create meaning and simplify the complex relationship between people, places, and things. Susan Sontag has an interesting take on metaphors and how they affect our perception of the world - listen here.
To return to my original question:
What do we do with big feelings?
My practice right now is something I’ve named Nourishment and Nudging.
Nourishment - how we care for ourselves to foster growth, vitality, and good health; how we feed our soul.
Nudging - how to gently draw attention to something or move it to the side; how we set boundaries.
If you're wondering what Nourishment and Nudging have to do with working with big feelings- think about how you react to people and events when you don't feel cared for or rested. Consider how you engage the world when your focus is being pulled in too many directions.
One of the ways I nourish myself is wearing eye glitter everywhere! It’s a constant I rely on to set the record straight: I am light, I am love, I have arrived! Nudging takes more effort, so I sometimes feel depleted by the day's end.
I’ve discovered that I can return to a quiet place inside when I’m feeling something bigger and seemingly more powerful than I am. The world is full of vampires - some days, I’m that vampire.
Glitter is a visible reminder of this space. The nudge helps when I’ve taken on too much of something someone else is experiencing. In this case, I give the person a gentle nudge back to their side of the stand.
I’ve become more attuned to what I feel (and how to move with it rather than resist it) owing to the instruments in my trusty toolkit - which I’ve bundled into a box titled Nourishing and Nudging.
So, this month's quest is to put your antennae on and listen: what do you feel? How will you nourish and nudge your sweet soul?
Write back if you have something to share.
Sending you light,
Seraphina.
Inspiration from sensitive creators:
✦ LP (Laura Pergolizzi) on starting late, her definition of success, and how she balances writing for others and for herself - watch the interview here.
✦ Clarissa Pinkola Estes - The Late Bloomer: Myths and Stories of the Wise Woman Archetype. I enjoyed listening to the audiobook.
“She is often the broken-winged one, who does everything all wrong until people realize she's been doing it... pretty right all along. She's the poor girl who never dressed right, who had torn hose, and they were all baggy around her ankles.
She's the Raggedy Ann of the sophisticated world, who pulls it out at the last minute, flies by the seat of her pants, cackling all the way home.
She is the late bloomer, the late start, the autumn bush, the winter holly.
She is the old girl who still blushes, and laughs, and dances. She's the truth teller, maybe that people hate to hear, but they learn to listen to. She is not dumb and in some ways is not shrewd. She works on passion, and the doll in her pocket, and the intuition that leads her into and through all the world.” ― Clarissa Pinkola Estés.
3 questions to brew on:
Who gets to see your glitter?
Where and how do you express your sparkly self?
Does nourishment or nudging come more easily to you? Why do you think this is?
