nubivagant
“Seek out these placeless places, where the unknown resides. Reflect upon the mysteries of life, travel into spaces with no familiar ground, venture into realms where worldly compasses fail to lead you, walk into the quantum world, where laws of science seemingly fail to work, and feel the vulnerability of your ignorance.”
Acupuncturist Appointment
Mariko - May 25th - 14:00
Part 2.
Now let me look at you.
She took me by my hands and angled me so that I faced the mirror adjacent to the chairs.
I tend to avoid my reflection unless the glass is broken or opaque.
There was a shop on the corner of Kingsway and Fraser in Vancouver, a small TNT grocer, with a mirror in place of the window. The mirror was cracked, tarnished, and filthy. When I babysat Jackson, I liked to take selfies of us in this mirror. Our expressions are hidden, so you cannot tell if we're laughing or crying. The same can be said of the weather; I can't tell from the photographs if it is sunny or a classic grey day on the West Coast.
I think it's better this way, my not knowing the true expression inward or outward. Bliss or misery; love or hate; creation and destruction; each originates from the same source. Your hands have a palm and the opisthenar (the formal name derived from the Greeks for the back of the hand), which attaches to the wrist.
So as Mariko positions me in front of the clean glass, I look away, though I still catch a glimpse of who I've made myself out to be before I turn my head.
I am so much smaller than I feel.
Mariko breathed out of her mouth as she put her hands on my abdomen. She exhaled deeply three times before I realized she wanted me to mimic her. I pressed my heels into the floor to ground myself. I exhaled. She nodded her head.
She moved her hands across my hips, gently maneuvering the base of her palm where the jut of the bone pressed into me, from my waist to my back, and then upward to my lower ribs and under my armpits. She stood in front of me, pressed both palms down on my shoulders, and then used her fingertips to feel the sides of my neck and under my occipital ridge.
Mmmm, this- this is a problem area.
She had her index finger and middle finger pressed to the nucha, the nape of the neck. Nucha is Arabic 'spinal marrow.'
You have a lot of build-up here; did something happen?
I tore my rotator cuff a few years ago.
Mmm. Yes, this area is very tense. We will go there.
She brought her hands to my face, lightly felt behind my ears, and ran her thumbs along my throat to asses the glands.
You are very strong. She nodded. Good.
I closed my eyes as she danced her palms across my scalp and down my spine. She felt along the notches of each vertebra and came back to my front side.
Take your legs a little wider.
I did.
You have a lot of heat inside of you- do you eat cold foods?
No.
Nothing? Not cold drinks or puddings?
No.
Good. You must eat as much cooked, warm food as possible. Cold is not good for you. At the beach, it is ok, but when you are inside your home, make tea and cook your food.
I nodded.
She stood and looked at me with her porous black eyes.
Ok, you may lie down. I will record a few questions, and then we will start.
She stepped back and opened one of the small drawers on the dresser. She procured a clipboard and pencil. Gesturing to the table, she came beside me and sat on one of the wooden chairs. I moved to the leather table and sat down.
How is your digestion?
I have no hunger.
You cannot eat?
I don't want to eat.
MMmm. Ok. What happens when you eat?
I feel sick.
Do you get sick?
Sometimes.
What do you eat?
Grains. Fruit and vegetables. Dates. Dark chocolate.
No meat or dairy?
A little bit of milk sometimes in coffee.
How much caffeine do you drink?
One cup per day.
Ok. And alcohol? Smoking?
No.
How are your bowels? Are they runny, soft, or hard?
They are fine; I go every morning.
How is your sleep?
Great, I sleep deep and dream a lot.
Do you exercise?
Yes, every day.
What do you do?
Yoga, Pilates, cycling, swimming, and dance.
Mmm. Yoga. You do a lot of heart-opening.
Yes, how do you know?
I see it in your body. Your heart is too open. Lay down on your abdomen; we will start with your back.
As I reclined, Mariko lit something and walked around the bed thrice. I watched her feet and counted the cycles. She set small pillows under my armpits and positioned my palms facing upward at my waist.
I will use Japanese needles; they are smaller and good for sensitivity. I will also use the tools for infants, this-
She held up a small metal wand with a ball on one end, a wooden mallet, and a wooden block.
Ok. We begin.
I closed my eyes and let myself drift into the sounds of the wind chimes. It was open a sliver at the left side, where the drapes waved in the breeze, and the call of the birds slipped into the room. I could feel Markico setting the small needles along my back, left shoulder, and neck. Her breath was deep and considered, though her movements were light and fast. She slipped each pin into my body with such agility; if I hadn't been attuning to her motion, I would not have known she was sliding the needles beneath my skin.
I felt the tightness several moments after the pin was inserted when I exhaled. I breathed deeper.
Mariko took the small metal wand and used it along the nape of my neck and the back of my left ear. She rubbed it gently into my skin in slow circles. She spoke gently as she worked the tool like a mandala back and forth from scalp to shoulder.
Your stomach meridian is blocked. It is from the over-use of the heart. Nerves are pinched in your back body; they are tense and over-compensating. So, we will work on your backline and the flow of the stomach. It is why you cannot eat; you're not anxious; you have too much energy moving upward from the blockage. This unsettles the stomach.
What can I do to avoid this in the future?
Less heart opening. You need to relax. Your back is very tense. You have nerves here- she placed her hand between my shoulders- that is pinched and disrupting the flow of energy. Your diaphragm, where she moved her hand lower to the bottom of my ribs, is also very strained. You are overworked. You need rest.
And my lack of appetite is because of these nerves?
Yes, when there is a disruption to the Prana or Qi, our body feels out of sorts. Your issue is not in the organs. I would look at your organs if your sleep or bowels were disrupted. However, you are strong and healthy, which tells me it is your muscles and nervous system. The overflow from your heart has caused discord in the back, causing the back body to contract. You are stuck here- she felt along my spine to the back of my waist- which is causing your stomach to be upset because it is on the opposite side. Do you understand?
I nodded. It is the law of Ayurveda, like attracts like and opposite heals.
One of my teachers speaks exquisitely on the power of the heart chakra and how one must have the guts to live, the strength to persevere, and the resilience to carry on. She says we need a strong solar plexus for the heart to open and move out into the world. Otherwise, there is discord. Without a strong core, the third chakra, the heart, the fourth chakra, has no anchor before it leaps up and out.
Photo source.
